December 27, 2015
I soak in the fresh scent of coffee, it fills my nose and wraps itself up behind my eyes. The refreshing whirl of the grind, the snap of the trigger. Viv was already here, nursing a cup in the corner, and wearing a new pair of thick black-framed glasses. Viv knew better then to order for me. I like to be active in the process, grabbing my usual cappuccino, flirting with the man bun barista.
“You will never guess who just messaged me?” she sucked in a breath like this was going to take a while. “Remember those older guys from Jersey we partied with last summer?”
“The ones you made us hang out with?” I reply.
“Yeah, whatever, I seem to remember you had your way with one of them.”
“Uggg, don’t remind me. We do not speak of that that.”
“So, John, the hot, kinda bald one sent me this.”
“Ugh. That is terrible,” I say, “Don’t tell me you are going to see him again?
“Come on Em. At least he’s trying. You guys should join. We could all go.”
“Don’t you dare go out there alone. I don’t want to see you wind up on PornHub or something.”
“I’m not spending another day with those douchebags, no matter what McMansion they rent, It’ll be spread between twenty of their jock mates. Michael would never get on with that crew anyway-and don’t you dare go out there alone. I don’t want to see you wind up on PornHub or something.”
“What! Emma!” She acts shocked but is smiling.
“Sorry. Just stressed. Been stuck with organizing this party for Vince, this bitch left with a bunch of stuff still up in the air.”
It felt good to express, releasing some of the pressure. Viv was great to unload on, I didn’t feel I had to maintain the constant aura of success. We had met through one of Michael’s friends that she worked with and had been seeing for a while before it faded out.
“Babe. You always kill this stuff.” She says.
“The party should actually be pretty cool,” I reply, “It’s like our biggest of the year. Bunch of musicians, hopefully some decent people show up.”
“Oh my god. Your life is a-maze-ing. Can I come?” She asked, her big eyes gleaming. I told her I was managing the invite so I could bring her and a couple others along.
“She quickly retracted it when she came to the conclusion that a party with New York money, music and sports stars was not the place you want to bring a date.”
“That’s awesome! What are you wearing?” She said, “I’ll need to get something new, or maybe rent something. We have to go shopping! Is this the party you went to last year and posted those photos? Holy shit! Holy. Shit.” She drummed her fingers on the table, then asked if she could bring someone, but quickly retracted it when she came to the conclusion that a party with New York money, music and sports stars was not the place you want to bring a date. She hid her mouth in a sip of Coffee as a smile grew across her face.
“Oh my god. Did you see Charlottes Facebook post this morning?” She asked. Viv had met Charlotte through me but we were all super tight. I’d grown up with Charlotte in Chicago and we’d lived the entire time I’d been in New York.
“What do they call it?” I said, “A humblebrag?”
“Humble? Hardly. I get that she is killing it and that fashion is so competitive but do you really have to shout every little success to the entire world. We get it already. So you had breakfast with Anna Wintour – like her Instagram post wasn’t enough? You don’t need to proclaim that shit on Facebook.”
“Isn’t that the point of Facebook? Babies, bragging and Buzzfeed? Anyway, enough about her, how is dating life? I need fresh stories.”
“They all just want to have casual sex into their forties – and when they get there, if they have a sliver of success, half of them have convinced themselves they can do it forever.”
Viv exhales into her cheeks and crunches her lips together. “Don’t get me started. New York is just so hypocritical. They tell us to lean in, to thrive and carve out a successful career – all the while we have to constantly be on the lookout for a guy so we can get married by 32, and want kids before your 35. The thing is – what guys don’t want to settle down? They all just want to have casual sex into their forties – and when they get there, if they have a sliver of success, half of them have convinced themselves they can do it forever. So they pop a few Viagra and shack up with a twenty-five year old.”
“Wow. I had that on video. Can you do it again?” I ask.
“Shut up, this city is full of the smartest people in the world – all this talk of equality, where is our wonder pill?”
I let out a laugh, “You mean the pill that makes the guys have the kids? Gives them the ticking bio clock?”
“Something like that. Something to level the playing field a little. Have you thought about having your eggs frozen? Facebook offers that as an employee benefit now.” she says, “Anyway, I’m going to hit up Netaporter and Rent the Runway for dresses when I get back, and there is a new site someone at work was telling me about…”
“Keep an eye out for me.” I said, even though Charlotte had told me she could probably pull something from one of her clients.
I considered how many friends to extend the invite to, and the wrath of those that I didn’t ask. A call from the events company flashed on my phone. Time to embrace the storm.
Header photo of Happy Bones via Cup of Couple