The Worst Thing About Being Single in New York – New Rules Novel | New Rules Novel


The Worst Thing About Being Single in New York

Sally got to her knees and we do a sort of half hug. I circled round and gave Lara and the rest of the crew kisses. They produced beers from a bag and I felt the first sip collide with the juice in my guts. Like bumping into an old friend at an unexpected spot, but the friend calls you a weirdo and reminds you that you planned to meet here all along.

“So we are all hitting Tiki Disco next weekend?” Lara said, looking up from her magazine. Everyone seemed to agree that it was a good call, there was something on every weekend but it was hard to argue with Tiki Disco. The general answer to these things was to say yes and just bail on the day before if you didn’t feel like going. mentioned that there might be one of the legendary Japanese house parties on as well.

“Mase, what’s been happening man?” Sally asked, “I haven’t seen anything on MLM in a while, I’m getting major withdraws. What the fuck dude? You can’t cut us off.”

“I know, sorry. I’ve been pretty busy.”

“He is working with East & Low now.” Zack said.

“What. Seriously. That’s awesome. What are you doing?”

“Just a bunch of production work. Making beats, working on tracks.”

“Congrats man. You deserve it. Just don’t forget about us right.” Sally went on to tell a story about a guy she was seeing and the awkward moment of introducing him to her parents. He was an Australian and sitting down for lunch with her parents, sister, her husband and a bunch of others he said, “Ah, I’ve busted my thong”, referring of course to his sandal, but you could picture the scenario instantly.

As she was further describing the setting I blurted out, “At least he didn’t ask if he could borrow one of your thongs.”

Sally wriggled around the rug, checked her phone and pulled out a cigarette, we had gone through a short phase of hooking up around two summers ago. It started during a series of weekends away, dominated by couples. Couples always made the effort to organize that type of shit, it just sucked when you got stuck being the only single people, especially now we were itching closer to thirty. I had skipped these trips this year. Is the sex that dull in long-term relationships? Why do they crave so many details, expecting that just because you’re single that you’re always on this mission to get laid.

We had been in Montauk and I wasn’t like I didn’t want to hook up with Sally, she was cute and funny. And we got together, much to the delight of the rest of the house. We were a bit of a thing over that summer but there was one thing that always killed the chemistry, I thought about it now as I watched her read some section of the paper.

She never said anything during sex. Nothing unless it was absolutely necessary. Whenever I would ask her something or try and spark up some banter, this awkward look would come across her face and she kind of shriveled up. I talked to the guys about it, and it seemed to be reasonably common. Why was it, that as soon as you start having sex that people no longer interact normally? Why are we resigned to this strict language of grunts, “Oh yeahs” and cliché ‘dirty talk’ phrases? Sure, you don’t want to be chatting away, but being weird about communicating must be the source of a lot of crummy sex on this planet. I guess it was one of the reasons we stopped hooking up. I just wanted her to order me around a little, maybe take charge somehow. We were better as friends anyway – it was never wise to mess with the sanctuary of your main crew.

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